Dick’s Picks — selecting the very best Grateful Dead performances of all time — is a job not dissimilar to mine: Recommending politicians to uninformed and undecided voters is like offering unsolicited advice on the best dive bars around — the logic only reveals itself after the seventh round.

It’s absurd, except that those dive bars happen to be the smoke-filled parlors where all of the consequential decisions are made. And maybe it doesn’t make a difference whether candidate A or candidate B makes those consequential decisions. But seeing as I just tanked up my diesel-powered lifestyle van — a boxy refrigerator on wheels, jacked with an inefficient 10-inch lift and 33-inch dread tread tires — I am not feeling exactly satisfied with the current state of affairs.

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