Tom McLaughlin: Expecting wisdom

When your last parent dies as mine did six weeks ago, you become, like it or not, part of the elder generation. If you have children and grandchildren, they look to you for wisdom. And what is that? It’s part intelligence, part experience, part humility — the product of living many years, making many mistakes, and learning — a little bit at least — from each one. It’s knowing your flaws. If you feel like you don’t have much wisdom, it’s a sign that you probably do.

Wisdom is quiet. It observes. It listens. It doesn’t speak until asked. It knows that telling people things they’re not ready to hear is counterproductive. That’s why Will Rogers said: “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” With young children, making an occasional observation is OK, as in: “I see this happening,” or “I see you doing that,” but avoid following up with advice unless you’re asked for some.