Manners and More: Dress code? Yes!

By Christine Kurtz-White

Oh, my goodness! With the Conway School Boards decision to impose a dress code in the schools, an outburst of opinions has ignited the usual bonfire of pros and cons whenever human beings feel their rights are being threatened. Or, more accurately, they are anxious to occupy the bully pulpit to express their opinion yea or nay usually with no evidence to uphold it. Actually, as one hears and reads the avalanche of commentary, it appears to be a moot topic which, in M&Ms opinion (yes, she has one, too!), provides no substance to their protests.Please, Dear Reader, M&M implores you to take a deep breath, step back from the fray for a minute or so and quietly contemplate just exactly what is being proposed. To sell an idea, a program, a product, to a prospect, it is critical to cite the product of the product in other words, the benefits. People never buy "products." Then, you say, what do they buy? In the instance of the dress code, they buy "related buyers benefits." Benefits satisfy the question: Whats in it for me? And M&M does not mean YOU she means the students. In the long run you, as parents and guardians, will benefit from witnessing the success of your students, basking in the proud reflections from their achievements academically and personally.As a result of many years of training all ages in all aspects of living, M&M brings to this latest forum a confidence that, if the cooperation and support the school board is asking from the community does come about, the dress code will succeed.Oh yes, human beings have a knack for coming up with all sorts of objections when their status quo is threatened. By the way, M&M notices that this is the second time the verb threatened has cropped up in this commentary, so it would seem that the real problem is created by ignorance and the fear of losing control. Control of what? Why not bond together, work with the new policy and assist the school administrators and teachers to make it a successful program?Last year, M&M was invited to conduct three workshops in human relations for the Alternative Class students. She was advised ahead of time that she might meet up with resentment and poor behavior. As Snoopy, that famous comic strip dog would say, Au contraire! Her first impression of these students was that they were well groomed and neatly and conservatively dressed. A bit hyper? Yes! A bit rude? Yes! But it didnt take long for M&M and the students to come to terms about the purpose of her being there, and the sessions moved along smoothly and profitably for all. At the end, they presented her with a lovely bouquet accompanied by their applause. Her only regret is that she needed more sessions to complete the mission and would happily pick it up again. She donated her time and knowledge and came away with a positive impression of some really charming young people.M&M has worked in industry where reluctant employees were handed an ultimatum that a Career Apparel (uniforms) program was to be installed. In this instance, peoples livelihood was at stake, so the best protest they could mount was grumpiness. A bit of PR with the employees and ignoring their protests proved to overcome their objections and captured, finally, their acceptance and approval.Many public and private schools over the country have initiated uniform programs, which proved to be economical for the families, and turned out neatly dressed student bodies. In M&Ms generation, parental influence was much stronger than it is today. She recalls her concerns and fears for her five children as the first waves of drugs in the schools and rebellion against authority took hold. It was a lot of work but they made it.There is an old adage that people react to how they look. If one knows that one looks good on the outside, one feels more confident and capable on the inside and their actions are testimony to their attitudes.So, consider the "related buyers benefits" and buy into the Conway dress code!Christine Kurtz-White can be reached at kurtzwhite@adelphia.net.