William Marvel: Envirotarianism

It would appear that I’ve coined another word. Googling “envirotarian” when I first thought of it, I found only one informal online lexicon that recognized it. The Urban Dictionary regards the word as an amalgamation of environmentalist and humanitarian, defining an envirotarian as someone with intense sympathy for both the environment and humans. That isn’t what I was thinking of when I invented envirotarianism, because the entire thrust of the column I had in mind was that environmentalism and humanitarianism are utterly incompatible ideologies. The Urban Dictionary’s definition is nonetheless useful as a label for the most vocal advocates of environmental protection, because it emphasizes precisely why their efforts are bound to fail.

Perhaps I’m prejudiced, because I’m both a lover of nature and a misanthrope. Growing up in an all-but-abandoned farming district that was reverting to forest, with animals for my primary companions, I developed an early dislike for the congestion and noise that seem to be humanity’s principal products. It didn’t help, either, that humans are the only creatures that ever exercise malice. I therefore always take the side of trees over people, except when cutting firewood.