Millen remembered, celebrated

A crowd of 1,500 turns out to pay tribute to a Kennett High treasure

A crowd of nearly 1,500 turned out to the Seidenstuecker Gymnasium at Kennett High School Wednesday afternoon to celebrate the life of Gary Millen, a longtime teacher and football coach, who meant so much to so many. It was an afternoon to share stories and remembrances of the man who had a special way about him. It was a perfect tribute. "It was phenomenal," Steve Mello, athletic director for Kennett, said. "Even the guy from the Union Leader who was here just to take pictures and had never met Gary was moved it was that big of an event. Everyone who spoke just knocked it out of the ball park, that's as real as it gets."More than 20 speakers went to the podium to reflect on how Millen touched their lives and the difference he made in his community in 53 years.Millen died unexpectedly on Friday afternoon, May 5, after suffering a heart attack at his Freedom home. He was 53.Originally from Massachusetts, Millen moved to Mount Washington Valley and joined the teaching staff at Kennett High in 1976. He was Kennett's head football coach for 28 years, and he was also a social studies teacher."The threads of Gary's life have weaved their way through this community," Gary MacDonald, longtime friend and one of the celebration organizers, said. "... Today will be difficult, but if Gary were here, he'd say, 'Come on, suck it up, get a little mental toughness.'"MacDonald summed up the wide array of emotions sorrow, anger, laughter and tears along with a sense of unfairness many felt since Millen's death. The MacDonalds were Millen's first neighbors when he came to Conway 30 years ago. MacDonald spoke about Millen being among the first to hold his daughter Alison when she was born 30 years go, calling it practice for the arrival of Meredith, his daughter, "his pride and joy." MacDonald referred to Ann, Millen's wife, as his "soul-mate." "Gary was simply a class act," MacDonald said. "He was a mentor and friend to so many young people. ... It's appropriate that we meet here in the Seidenstuecker Gymnasium and look out at George Davidson Field. These were two giants, and now Gary is one of those giants, he stands with them. ... Next to his family, the students were his life."The Kennett Chorus performed two songs on the afternoon, "Irish Blessing" and "On Eagles' Wings" and both perfectly captured the afternoon.Don Johnson, of Freedom, a longtime friend of the family, recalled "so many good times over the years that were so rewarding" and that New Year's Eve and Christmas Eve were so memorable. He even shared that Millen dressed up as Santa Claus from time to time. "We are all reeling from this shock and harsh reality," Johnson said. "We need to remember and celebrate the life of this wonderful man. ... The amount of time we had to celebrate his friendship was just way too short."Among those to speak was Gov. John Lynch, who grew up with Millen and played on the same baseball team at Lynnfield High School. He recalled Millen being the captain of the football, basketball and baseball teams his senior year."Our senior year," Lynch said, smiling, "we either went to the state championship or won the state championship or dreamed about the state championship. ... Gary led by example. He more than anyone brought our team together. He was a quiet leader who brought our team together."Lynch recalled Millen was the senior class president, and when superlatives were awarded by classmates, Millen was credited with "having done the most for Lynnfield High School." "Looking back that might have been the best award," Lynch said. "... In 1970, Gary wrote that his ambition in life was to someday be back in high school as a teacher and a coach he achieved his ambition. ... Gary made this world a better place with each step of his life. I'll miss Gary."Millen's high school football coach Bill Rodan recalled an athlete nicknamed "Buckets" who played for him. He remembered Millen had a love of sports and sportsmanship at a young age. As a sophomore, Millen actually penned a letter to Rodan about the importance of values and sportsmanship. As a junior he overheard Millen engage in an argument with a classmate."He was the best arguer in the world," he said with a grin. "I'll bet the only man Gary and I both voted for was the man before me (Lynch)."Rodan credits Millen with turning the tides of the Lynnfield football program. The team trailed by four points on its own four-yard line with 16 seconds to play in its first game of the season. Millen sprang the all-important block that paved the way for the winning touchdown."We won, and Lynnfield High School football changed that day," Rodan said. "It changed forever we were good and Gary was such a part of that. ... Years later, when we talked about that game, I said, 'Wouldn't it have been great if we had won by 50 points?' He said, 'No, that wouldn't have done any good. It wouldn't have shown our attitude.'"Colby Basketball Coach Richard Whitmore remembered Millen as a collegiate athlete at Colby, calling him "a gift" to the school for three decades."The contributions Gary made in four years far dwarfed anything I did," he said. "Gary Millen was an athlete of excellence."Whitmore recalled Millen tossing a one-hitter in his first collegiate baseball start; and when the Mules had one of its best seasons during Millen's junior campaign he opened the season 6-0. Millen also won one of the biggest games in school history, besting the University of Maine, which prompted his coach, John Winkin, who later coached Maine, to say, "Today our pitcher showed the greatest courage I have ever seen." Millen defeated Maine twice in his career. In 1974, Millen received the Donald Lake Award, the highest athletic award Colby presents.Whitmore always welcomed Millen's return to the campus and savored a moment in the spring of 2000 when Meredith Millen, who also attended Colby, was a member of the school record setting 4X800 meter relay team in track."Gary was there, and it was one of the great pride pictures we could ever have," Whitmore said. "Whoever said the smile is the window to the soul was absolutely right when it came to Gary Millen."Kennett Principal Jack Loynd talked about playing "Sunday morning hoops" with Millen and traveling to a conference in Chicago with him. While there they took in the musical "Mama Mia" and "by the end of the show Coach Millen was dancing in the aisles to some of Abba's greatest hits," he recalled with a smile.Loynd praised Millen for his loyalty and regularly challenging this thinking."His loyalty is a major reason why I have stayed at this position," he said. "Three years ago he came into my office and said he was ticked that he had heard that I was considering other career options. He said after three years we finally have some stability and are moving forward. ... Then came the knockout punch, he quoted Joe Paterno, 'If you want to make a difference you have to stay.' Gary Millen stayed and made a difference... Saturday, I checked the front of the school because I had a sense one of our pillars was missing."Jody Skelton, director of the Carroll County YMCA and Camp Huckins, talked about what a dedicated board of director member Millen was for Camp Huckins for 12 years. "Mr. Millen had a notebook of board meetings which were the envy of others," he said. "... He was always there in a pinch."For 20 years Millen worked with the YMCA on a Youth and Government program, and Skelton said he loved engaging with students in the program."Gary has touched each of our lives in a special way," she said. "... Thank you, Gary, for enriching so many of our lives."Longtime assistant football coaches Peter Ames and Phil Haynes were joined at the podium by former team manager Kelley Jon Scruggs."He was a great coach, and he treated me as an equal," Scruggs said. "He even got me No. 16, but I don't know why. ... I want to give my condolences to the Millen family.""Gary, Phil and I spent spent thousands of hours together and enjoyed each others' company," Ames said. "Gary was able to work with a very diverse group of people Phil and I are great examples of this. Anyone who has been around Gary would be surprised how he could put up with two local yokels. ... We all had the same intense desire to compete. We consider Gary our brother."Haynes shared funny stories about preseason camp at Wakuta and his love of the team."Coach Millen believed that high school sports were an integral part of a child's education," he said. "Coach led a life that many of us preach to but are unable to attain. Coach encouraged students to participate and ran a program that provided many young men the opportunity to belong. Coach was a teacher first, always preparing his team for the next game and the rest of their lives. Coach Millen accentuated the importance of teamwork, sportsmanship, and commitment to excellence and leadership. He always stressed to take care of yourself physically and mentally. Coach Millen emphasized that the easiest route was not always best and to prepare oneself for the unexpected. Coach's most enjoyable moments, besides the games and practices, were listening to the seniors explain to their peers and families what the program meant to them. Coach wanted the program to be special the bringing together of young men, as family, united in common goals."Former players John Walters, Darren Perry, Danny Noyes and Chip Kennett all spoke fondly of their coach, mentor and friend.Walters, now a teacher and baseball coach at Souhegan High School, recalled his junior year when the football team didn't have a trainer and he injured his groin."I stood on the athletic table every day in my underwear while coach wrapped me up while my teammates laughed around the corner," he said, grinning.Walters, who grew up in Freedom, recalled Millen coming to his little league baseball games and making time to play catch with him on the weekends. Millen actually gave him a car his senior year, but the duo routinely travelled to and from school."Meredith is very much a member of our family," he said, explaining the Walters will be part of her wedding ceremony this summer. "She is our little sister ... I want to thank Ann and Meredith for sharing this extraordinary person with us and our community."Walters also had a message for the current members of the football team. "To next year's players, he believed in you."Perry, who later attended Colby after graduating from Kennett in 1994, called Millen "an extraordinary teacher" who had a gift. "Whether he was teaching an offensive lineman blocking or discussing the continental congress he showed us the importance of being competent in everything we do."Perry recalled a game where Eagles trailed Lebanon 19-0 at the half on the road in what was the Red Raiders Homecoming. At the half, Millen approached his team "with the look of a little cocky kid from Mass." who had found a chink in Lebanon's game-plan. The Eagles executed the coach's game-plan to a tee in the second half scoring 34 unanswered points en route to victory."One of Coach Millen's favorite events was the annual talent show at Camp Wakuta where someone would eventually do a skit of him," Perry said. "They came out in short shorts, knee-high socks and that flat brim of a baseball hat that looked like it had been ironed."Perry spoke about Millen and why he never coached at the collegiate level, it certainly wasn't because he wasn't good enough. "It's because you found precisely where and how you fit into this world."Noyes, who like Perry attended Colby and also played football for the Mules, graduated from Kennett in 1998. He has gone on to coach football and skiing at the collegiate level. Noyes recalled being in Millen's classroom as a student."Mr. Millen put special emphasis on education first," he said, smiling. "I remember we had to read 'Burr' by Gore Vidal some of the questions on the test could not even be answered by the author Gore Vidal. ... The difference he made in the lives of everyone who played for him and sat in his classroom is evident in every person here today."Kennett, who also attended Colby College, said he was sure "Mr. Millen would have critiqued every speech including Governor Lynch's" if had been present.Kennett laughed as he recalled Coach Millen calling him out on the second day of practice his freshman year for spending too much time on the phone talking with Meredith."'Hey Kennett, got my phone bill last night, remind me to send it to you,'' he said, laughing. "I never got the bill. (Turning to Ann and Meredith) The two of you were his courage and his compass and the reason he was so important to so many."Millen's 2006 AP History students Ned Goodwin, Elizabeth Howland, Drea Kasianchuk, Moriah Hounsell, Danielle Edwards, Whitney Pray and Jody Sandonato decided as a class to "write the rest of the story for Mr. Millen" and each spoke clearly and passionately about their teacher. They took the line from Millen's favorite movie, "The Wizard or Oz" "There's no place like home," and said "There's no place like Mr. Millen's classroom."Allison MacDonald said she avoided Millen for about a week after deciding to attend Colgate rather than Colby. She said her friend "exemplified character and integrity" and called him "irreplaceable."She recalled Millen being a regular at her high school basketball games but wondered if he really watched the games or just rehashed the Celtics' exploits from the night before.This winter, at a family gathering, MacDonald delighted at seeing Millen's eyes light up and his smile grow ever wider every time he reconnected with a former student."We talked about retirement," she said. "He said, 'You know Ali, everyone is talking about retirement, I'm happy just where I am.' It was that simple, nothing more. ... No question we are all better people for having known this man."Jane Davidson, daughter-in-law of the late George Davidson, recalled 20 years of the football team at Camp Wakuta and how Millen always seemed to have a joke to tell. She called Friday "a day of disbelief" but felt her friend's presence. "People we love may be gone from our sight but they're not far away," she said. "Gary, I hope you are soaring like the eagle you were."George Epstein spoke about being teammates with Millen on the basketball court for 30 years. "He never complained about the limitations he had as an athlete, he made adjustments and persevered," he said. Epstein also spoke about the anger and sense of unfairness he felt at losing his friend, but then pointed out Millen would have seen things differently. "Gary is different than most of us," he said. "... I can picture him standing over in the corner saying, 'It stinks, but I had not just a good life, I had a great life. I shared it with people I love and people who loved me.'"Millen's older brother, by a year, Wayne, thanked the community for its outpouring of support for the family. "I hope you realize how much you enriched Gary's life," he said. "This has been a beautiful celebration of Gary's life. ... This is really the perfect setting because this school is Gary's second home."Gary MacDonald closed the ceremony. "Gary Millen filled his years with life even though his life was not filled with years," he said. "... Each of us has a special story about Gary Millen. My hope is each of you will enjoy telling and retelling these stories in the years to come."Following the celebration, which lasted a little over two hours, a reception was held in the school cafeteria, and people had an opportunity to sign a remembrance book and continuing sharing stories with one another.