When your partner is struggling with something, a natural tendency is to step in and try to “fix” whatever is wrong. This usually involves advice around the need to take some kind of action. Afterall, we don’t like it when we see our partner in pain, sadness, anger, frustration.

When our partners are in these kinds of emotional states, some of us see a fire that needs to be put out ... now! “Quick, there’s a fire over there, grab the hose, put it out before it spreads!”

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