mt tan

An artust’s rendering shows one version of the Trump hotel, called “Trump Mt. Tan,” being proposed for the site of the current Intervale Motel. (COURTESY HUB ENGINEERING)

CONWAY — The Conway Planning Board will reconvene at a special meeting April 1 to continue the site-plan review of the hotel project proposed for the site of the Intervale Motel as new developments have come to light. Abutters and neighbors are gearing up for a legal battle and many are adding their names to a nuisance complaint filed originally by 16 neighboring residents.

The planning board had initially voted to increase the buffer to 50 feet. Planning board chair Steve Hartmann and Conway Town Planning Director Tom Irving have asked the developers, the investment group calling themselves Viewpoint North Conway LLC, to revise their plans.

They removed that buffer at their last meeting with the prospect they could reimpose it at a later date if need be.

Project engineer Josh McAllister of HEB Engineering said this week that imposing a new buffer would change the site-plan design. It seems this pushback was what the developers were anticipating, and they're planning to accede to the buffer restriction in order to expand upward. The five stories originally proposed has been revised to 14 stories.

Upon investigation, and information shared off the record, Viewpoint North Conway LLC turns out to be a group of investors affiliated with the Trump Organization, and the working name of the planned hotel is The Trump Presidential Vista Hotel.

America’s Once Mayor Rudy “What the Hell Happened to Me?” Giuliani is making arrangements to bring a group of attorneys he has assembled to the Mount Washington Valley to lay the legal groundwork for the venture and recently shared Trump’s plans with Janice “Anything is Possible” Crawford of the MWV Chamber of Commerce, according to sources.

Bill Cuccio is readying the Lobster Trap for a gala reception and applying for a permit to close a stretch of West Side Road and reroute traffic during the event in a preventive measure to thwart the potential exposure of Quddus Z. Snyder.

“You could say there’s always a full moon on the West Side when Q is around,” Cuccio said. “We’re trying to prevent that.”

Discrepancies between the goals of the town’s Master Plan and zoning regulations have left the town vulnerable to just this kind of offense to the character of the town as has been witnessed time and again up and down the strip, with the demolition of the antique Homestead Restaurant. Demolition of the historic house in Center Conway that housed the town’s very first meetings appears to be inevitable as well.

“I think what the town needs to replace those historic structures is a Trump Tower — and this Intervale project will be the perfect answer. That’s what people care about — not history, but new stuff, especially with the Trump name on it. Priceless, you agree?” said Giuliani, just before his scalp erupted in a hair tonic leak.

Word has it that the Trump Organization is also looking into having the Presidential Range changed to the Trump Presidential Range.

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(5) comments

Mtnrose

This had better be an April Fool's joke! 😠

ShesgottheJack

Perhaps they can put a strip club in there also? Maybe some slot machines? What a joke, more and more like southern NH.

guest292

April fools!

pzilembo

That’s the best April Fools joke ever

SkiHikeBike

Please tell me this is an April Fool's joke...

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