Quddus Synder: Anger Management

The fine readership, having a unique window into my peculiar psychology, may have noticed that I’ve really been working on my anger management. I’m as cool as a cucumber in a zen den.

Imagine the disappointment with my fellow citizens, two otherwise reasonable lads, probably jacked on Monster energy drinks and testosterone supplements, whose road rage descended into a rough-and-tumble brawl in front of Settlers Green — within earshot of a gaggle of pampered housewives from Worcester, Mass., spending the day browsing for new workout sneakers at Nike — where one man’s face was reportedly bashed into the ground while the other suffered scratches and a savage bite injury to the finger.