William Marvel: Educating Buffy, Part 1

People who have been monitoring education in Conway for a decade or more (and there have evidently been too few of them) will remember Dick Klement's "Buffy." She was the representative Conway student, serving as the distaff counterpart to "Johnny," of "Why Johnny Can't Read" infamy, except that in Dick's stories she seems to have been the more entitled offspring of overindulgent parents.

Compared to the childhood experience Dick and I enjoyed, that could describe just about anyone born in the past four decades, so Buffy can still stand as a gynandromorphic avatar for the student body. Since we're talking about education instead of indoctrination, we'll substitute grammatical accuracy for progressive orthodoxy and call her "she," rather than "they," but her pronouns are really me, my, and mine.