Introduce me to a beer writer who likes Oktoberfest, and I'll challenge them to a stein-holding competition. I'll get the last laugh, though, because I won't show up. They'll be left hefting a warming flagon of pisswasser, feebly smiling.

I'll admit it: I write about Oktoberfest because I am obligated to [Ed. We did not tell Seth to write about Oktoberfest.]. It's an entire celebration dedicated to drinking liters of beer, so I can't not write about it. But, the very flavors and traditions Oktoberfest celebrates make me loathe it. Rather than pounding liters of insipid lager, I'll be gathered with friends, enjoying a flavorful ale. Instead of choking down a mouthful of pretzel batter, I'll pair my hoppy ale with some local Thai food. Oom-pah? Really? We may be on the same page that the sound of a flatulent tuba drives you to drink, by I much prefer a chalice of Chimay, accompanied by the smooth sounds of Steely Dan. (Okay, maybe I lost you on the Dan, but you get the point.)

Gretel
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