Harrisburg, Pa. — Citing the steep decline in youth mental health and academic performance during the past decade, Sens. Devlin Robinson (R-37), Vince Hughes (D-7), and Steve Santarsiero (D-10) announced yesterday the introduction of bipartisan legislation requiring Pennsylvania schools to adopt policies prohibiting student cellphone use during the school day.

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Kennett High’s principal, Kevin Carpenter, has issued a new fatwa: henceforth, all cellphones shall be banned in school. About time, says I.